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So... I've had an emotionally exhausting week. Why? Well, some of… - John [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
John

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[Apr. 8th, 2006|07:45 pm]
John
So... I've had an emotionally exhausting week. Why? Well, some of it's semi-sorta-confidential. Some of it's just bad luck. My cats got out briefly; both came home safely, but while I'm not too nervous about Chibi getting out (he knows how to find his way home - but there are cars, other wildlife, and other dangers for *any* animal, and hell, he's getting up there in years)), I've had nightmares about Skitty getting out. She's the "find a place to hide, and hole up" cat. Well, this entire apartment complex is "a place to hide". The apartments are on raised floors; there's a crawlspace (well, crawlspace for a cat) under my entire building, and, I'm sure, under other buildings. The last two times she got out (at my last apartment complex), she didn't come out just because I was calling, even if I had food. So, she could easily find a hiding place where I couldn't find her.

Friday, I started asking myself the question that I think is most important in emotionally exhausted states. What, exactly, am I looking for? What would make me happy?

Because, my experience is that, once you're already in an emotionally exhausted state, it's easy to stay there; it becomes a matter of inertia.

I was thinking about that, when I ended up sleeping through Friday night, from when I got home until morning. And then I ended up sleeping through until 5 today, with a few brief breaks for computer use and some new worries.

(What kind of worries? Well, I was sitting a bit funny, and then got a back cramp, right over my left kidney. You know, not a serious charlie horse, but one of those, if you don't find *just* the right position, the muscles will seize up again? Suddenly, I'm wondering if I'm about to find that a kidney stone is about to strike. Plus, there's the whole "sleeping nearly 24 hours? What's up with that?")

I'm still working on the whole "What do I want?"

Part of it is, sure, I'd like to go back in time, make a few minor alterations and make things have worked out better. What things? Well... as much as anything else, my own responses.

As for the rest, well... I think I want to go back to bed. Which suggests, to me, at least, that it's probably the best course of action.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: kyra_ojosverdes
2006-04-09 03:33 am (UTC)
*hugs* I hope next week goes a lot better for you.
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[User Picture]From: kightp
2006-04-09 05:55 am (UTC)
*hugs* from here, too. I wish I could help.
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[User Picture]From: iamjw
2006-04-09 10:35 am (UTC)
hugs* offered.
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[User Picture]From: lblanchard
2006-04-09 01:24 pm (UTC)
Sleep is often wonderfully restorative, allowing your mind to process thoughts and feelings without the distraction of new input. You know the drill: if the urge to hibernate lasts more than two weeks, think about taking corrective action.

Fell better soon.
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[User Picture]From: krrayn
2006-04-09 01:42 pm (UTC)
once you're already in an emotionally exhausted state, it's easy to stay there; it becomes a matter of inertia.

Brother, that's the golden truth right there. I've been battling inertia in all aspects of my life since I was 16.
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[User Picture]From: blackthornglade
2006-04-10 08:23 pm (UTC)
Inertia is hell to get over. I'm having my own problems with it. *hugs*
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