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As you approach our resident longhaired weirdo, you notice he's… - John [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
John

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[Jul. 21st, 2006|02:25 pm]
John
As you approach our resident longhaired weirdo, you notice he's looking into a car under a tree that's shading the car... mostly. The windows are down a couple inches, as well. And as you get closer, you can hear him speak.

"Now... I'm sure you weren't in that building for long. And I do have to give you points; you didn't just park your car. You found a shaded place to park it, and you did roll those windows down. And when I reached my hand in that car, it wasn't baking hot, so you couldn't have been gone for too long. But, see, I'm out here, taking a quick walk, and I'm hot. It's 90 degrees out here, so, soon, your car's going to be at least that hot pretty quick. Probably hotter; see, it's black asphalt here, and that sucks up the sunlight and heats the air above it. And that wasn't a shorthaired dog you had in there.

"Water? Oh, heavens no, your dog didn't have water. And, see, dogs can't lose heat the way we humans can by sweating, so if you get a bit dry, that'll just help you understand this a bit better. But don't worry... you're only in there as long as your dog was. Plus a random factor, of course... because once that car started getting hotter, well, the dog didn't know when it was going to end, so why should you?

"Now, if you were gone by the time the nice people in the reception area could call anyone, you're probably good to go, and your dog probably wasn't in that car long enough to have anything bad happen. Er, how long were you in that building? 'Cause the shadows, they're moving a bit. I hope they don't move off of the car, because, you know, sun coming in even one of the windows, well, that'd totally suck.


"I bet you're thinking something else sucks, too... you're probably thinking it sucks that some longhaired weirdo decided to take a walk past that very car, in that very parking lot, where you left your dog.

"If you are, I got some advice. Start thinking about how it sucks that you left your dog in a car. If you hadn't done that, you didn't have to worry about some weirdo walking by and noticing.


"Now, don't worry. Once you've been in there as long as your dog was, plus that random factor, you'll get back use of your hands. The fur coat'll just vanish. In the meantime, if anyone walks by, you can look pitiful and hope that they'll help you. If they clench their teeth and get a pained look on their face, well, that's just because they hate that they can't do anything, because they can't set you loose. You might get lost. No, they just have to hope that whoever's in charge of this situation comes back really quickly and puts things right.

"That person was you. And for your sake, I sure hope you did."

Then, with an unusually unsymathetic look on his face, John walks off.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: kightp
2006-07-21 11:12 pm (UTC)
There's a special place in hell reserved for those people.
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[User Picture]From: firecat
2006-07-21 11:35 pm (UTC)
Someday I'm just going to bash in the windows of a car with a dog in it.
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[User Picture]From: spiritdance
2006-07-22 01:52 am (UTC)
Had a client at my office (I'm a vet) who got a kitten this week. When they went to the mall on Monday, they heard a kitten crying, and started looking for it. They found it ... in the car next to them. Windows rolled up, and temperature outside in the mid-90's.

The called the local humane society, and the humane officer that came out broke the window out of the car to get the kitten out.

Then arrested the owners of the car when they returned from their shopping trip.

The kitten was taken to the Humane Society, and the family that found her? They brought her home on Tuesday :-)
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[User Picture]From: droewyn
2006-07-22 03:46 am (UTC)
Good for your client! I probably would have stuck around just to see the car owners get what they deserved!
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[User Picture]From: spiritdance
2006-07-22 03:08 pm (UTC)
They did :-)

Apparently the hemane officer (who has a fairy abrasive personality anyway) gave the offenders a verbal reaming when they showed up.
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From: razordemon
2006-07-22 03:54 am (UTC)
Nothing in this world makes me more angry than cruelty to animals. And I'm not sure if it angers me more whether it's out of ignorance, apathy or purposeful intent.

Thanks, John, as always, for your eloquence.
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[User Picture]From: bordercolliebrs
2006-07-31 05:30 pm (UTC)
Um, Hi, I'm here 'cause janetmiles said I should check you out, and I'm just wondering...

Is this why Boss says he can't take me for a ride sometimes at this time of year, if he's gonna have to stop somewhere and no one else will be in either Sydney SubaruOtback or Forrest NissanPickup with me?
Houdini
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