Hah! See! No one's replied yet! I knew y'all didn't love me!
(Sorry. Just kidding. I typed this in the minute my post was up. But it's an accurate reflection of my mood.)
Oh, and just in case I need to point it out: but this doesn't mean that my mood is really troubling me. It just means that I'm aware of it, and, well, that's the kind of mood it is. And I also noticed that, out of habit, as soon as I posted this, I checked e-mail, and asked myself if that meant I was upset that no one had responded yet... which prompted the first response :-).
I did not think it was possible to make Jiffy Pop without burning it! Jiffy Pop has such a distinctive smell, very Proustian evocative.
You've said quite a few things that have helped me in the past few months, if that helps at all. :-)
mmmm, popcorn. Ovaltine is also an excellent old fashioned depression treatment.
I. Just /had/ this conversation with my therapist tonight. Seriously. Cognitive Behavioral therapy is my friend, and stepping back from angst and panic to analyze where it is coming from is very helpful, though slow for me to learn.
This week everything has been my fault. Even things that aren't actually problems have been my fault and proof that I'm a wretched person. Knowing where it's coming from helps me a lot, but doesn't actually change the instincts.
Thanks for posting this.
Now I /really/ want popcorn.
Hmm. What's my special talent? I talk in my sleep, and apparently I'm very amusing when I'm talking in my sleep.
As a, um, not-disinterested observer, may I just mention that it's been really, really good watching you develop (for lack of a better term) these coping skills? It's as if you're peeling away layers and getting to the core.
And somebody does, too, love you. So there.
P.S. Damn you. Now I can't stop thinking of popcorn, and it's already past my bedtime.
Just spontaneous "realizations" that no one really loves me, everything I've said or done today is wrong and hurtful, and life isn't really going to get any better.
*hugs* Not true, not true, not true. All three things.
(Hey, if my life could, and did, get better... *wry*)
You're a good friend; my life and world would be a poorer place without you, and your insights, in it.
Only one question: gas or electric stove?
(So, a month later): I've managed to make it on both. But the gas stove was the earlier type, where you could dial back the heat to a lower level than you can now.
Electric is harder, because you need to leave it on the burner to get the heat, but you need to shake it to keep the kernels moving. But if you keep it moving, it usually gets popped without burning.
As you know, various family health issues have me feeling fairly downcast these days, but your identification of depression as "not me; it's something affecting me" is a good one.
Mmmm, popcorn. Probably better than my treatment of choice, which is cheap shredded cheddar melted over just about anything.
It sounds like you have an impressively good handle on things. I home to at some point have that degree of distance from my depression and anxiety -- to get to the point where I don't feel like it's eating me.
Best wishes for a fully restorative course of popcorn treatment.