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Goals and directions [Aug. 21st, 2007|02:02 pm]
Sunday, I was supposed to investigate how I would take classes at both University of Washington and Oregon State University. I was too tired, after driving home from kightp's, and, in fact, I didn't really accomplish anything (except getting to the first big-bad on .Hack part 4.)

So, Monday, I did the same thing. And then I realized that the moment I did this, I was locking myself into what would essentially be a bachelor's program. I needed to figure out a way to do this better. So I started looking for textbooks.

You know, it's not easy to answer the question "what is the currently accepted best textbook for undergrad students studying developmental psychology?" But I did find some answers that don't look crappy.

I already had an intro-to-psych book. Now I have textbooks coming in for fundamentals of psych research (seems to be a common second course), and abnormal and developmental psych. And I've dug into my intro book a bit deeper. I don't remember if I've swallowed two chapters in two days, or three. But I have managed to stay on course with the book well enough to lose four hours so far.

(We ADHD folks tend to have two ways of working: we keep flitting from task to task, or we settle down and *work* and then, poof, an hour or more has passed.)

Now I'm taking a break and digesting some of the book before hitting it again. This is part of my goal, to see if I can suck down the level of textbook info that psych studies requires. Maybe I can leapfrog some classes; at the very least, I want to leapfrog the research methods class. But, worst case scenario, if I take any of these classes, I want to go in knowing that I'm re-confirming information I already have, and hopefully impressing the prof enough to earn a good recommendation to grad school.

I was confessing some of my doubts to kightp this weekend. I'm not sure how psychologists discuss issues, nor what skills I have that are relevant. I'm not sure how one establishes one's self as "a brilliant student of psychology", nor how to be one (note the difference between "establishing one's self as" and "being" - two potentially important abilities).

At the same time, there is no way to determine if I can be one, or establish myself as one, without trying. And in a real sense, I think I'm glad I have no idea how to establish myself as one. There are people who understand patterns of human behavior and can mold themselves into those patterns. I'm not one of those people.

This is one of those times when Yoda's advice[1] of "do, or do not; there is no 'try'" fits.

I've been feeling a bit weird the past few days, a bit at loose ends, and that's to be expected. A large part of my near-future gets decided (probably) tomorrow afternoon, and a lot of things are on hold until I can get that out of the way. For example, I was thinking of renting a pick-up on Monday and moving my dressers. Then I realized that it'd be silly to do that if I get a job offer on Wednesday and have to move into an apartment in Bellevue. kightp often refers to "moving pumpkins" and one of the times she's mentioned it was in the context of trying to make sure you only move the pumpkins once. It's silly to put the pumpkins in storage, just to move them again inside of a week.

[1] Always keep in mind that Yoda was giving specific advice in a specific circumstance. I've heard many folks denigrate "trying" based upon that cultural referent, when the fact of the matter was, Luke's use of the word "try" meant "I'll make an effort that I know will fail".

[User Picture]From: kightp
2007-08-21 10:32 pm (UTC)
Good call on the pumpkins. (-:
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[User Picture]From: eleccham
2007-08-22 03:23 am (UTC)
I use that quote on brenna_raven with some frequency, in if not exactly that context, close enough - usually she uses "I'll try" to mean, "It's too hard" or, even more accurately, "I don' wanna".
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