|Trying to update more frequently, but...
||[Feb. 15th, 2016|02:45 pm]
Okay, so, I'm on a two week heart monitor. I'm deliberately trying to over-exert my body and trigger my symptoms. |
It's... validating. Yesterday, I was all buzzy and anxious and showing a higher than expected heart rate. Today, I'm feeling icky in a dozen different ways, and a lot of them are "oh, wow... there's *that* symptom (or sign, or "response to how I feel")!"
I'm having my symptoms pretty badly, and while I did some really heavy exercise on Saturday, what I did Saturday wasn't something that was dangerous, or should make a person sick. (I exercised for 27 minutes, at a level where I could hold a conversation (so, breathing nice and easy) and then jogged on an incline for three minutes, to the point that I was having to concentrate entirely on breathing for the last minute. So, I basically pushed myself for three minutes, and, at the end, I was out of breath. For a person who's been through all the heart-diagnostics I've been through, this is safe. (Other 49-year-olds should see a doctor before trying something like this from a cold start.)
Okay, so, I did push pretty hard. And I have been exercising a lot more than I normally do, because I have to be a couch potato to avoid symptoms entirely. (And even then I don't feel *good*. I just don't feel too bad.)
But: Friday, I just did some jogging around, never even had to breathe long and deep. Saturday, two workouts, and only one actually stretching my limits. Sunday, two more workouts - and today?
Wow. I've felt worse. I've felt a lot worse. But how badly I feel, and how it matches other bad feelings I've had, convinces me I'm seeing something. If I were feeling bad, but *differently*, that would be of great concern.
But I'm not. I'm feeling bad in more or less the precise ways I feel badly much of the time. Oh, there are differences here and there. I haven't hit the "fall asleep sitting straight-up" state of fatigue yet. I'm more in the buzzy/hard to focus state. But it's scary how some of the emotional reactions I'm seeing are spot-on the issues I've seen at other times when I've been in this state.
For example: I made a reference to BDSM earlier in this post - and a PG-rated reference. And I deleted it because it was far too difficult to word it so I could leave it without anxiety.
In the past, in this state, I've spent an hour writing and re-writing a brief paragraph. This time, I just knew better than to try :-).
So: even if this doesn't show any heart problems at all, or, no fixable heart problems, it's been enlightening. This is as close to a "reject the null hypothesis" experiment as I could have imagined.
I hope that this shows us something fixable, or something that can be helped, at least. Still, it would be extremely helpful and comforting if I just ended up with a bit more information about what's wrong.