||[Feb. 26th, 2004|03:53 pm]
|||||mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.||]|
|||||Beatles - Something||]|
I have a sad confession to make.
I know that this is going to turn many of my friends against me... or, at least, it should, if they were good people, with good values, but if they're filthy liberals, well, they might believe criminal suspects have rights, and police have to follow the law, and who knows were such perverse beliefs could lead?
But, I'm convinced that only by confessing to this horrible crime can I possibly come clean with myself and the universe.
When I fall in love with someone, when I get into that giddy, wonderful mentality that so many of us know so well, I... well, I pervert it utterly.
I start thinking about how sex will be enjoyable.
I get *erections*.
And you know something? Even if someone told me that it was sick, disgusting, wrong, and contemptible for me to want to have sex with that competent, adult, human being, I'd still feel that way.
You know what else?
If I had to hide it, and hide what I was, and hide my partners from scrutiny, I'd *still* do it.
If society pushed me into a place where the only choice I had was the occasional anonymous encounter, or painfully lonely masturbation, I reckon I'd grudgingly take the anonymous encounters eventually.
And if society told me I was evil and horrible, and that caused me to hate myself for my encounters, yeah... I just might stop caring about what I did, or how it might look to someone on the outside. Why should I? Just having sex alone would already make me beneath contempt; why have limits? Why have pride? If I'm already considered the lowest of the low, *what do I have to lose*?
But, thankfully, I'm not in that situation.
No. I'm looking back 40 years, probably just about the time when gay rights started to be a twinkle in someone's eye (Stonewall was another 5 years in the future, but it takes time...).
And I'm seeing some of the most unthinking, unkind people I'll ever want to meet talking about how gay people have had sex, and acting like it happened in a vacuum.
But here's the big joke. This one, you'll bust a gut laughing.
Those same people talk about *responsibility*. If you do something, you're supposed to admit to your part in it, and take care of cleaning it up.
You want to hear about responsibility?
A bunch of these people have had most of my lifetime - 34 years since the Stonewall riots - to get over their hangups, and take responsibility and realize just how screwed up they are, to take responsibility for what they've done, and admit they had a part in it.
This is it. Last chance, you folks 50 and above who ain't willing to walk the walk in addition to talking the talk. (And if you're over sixty, so you had a chance to be politically active, and hence, were partially responsible for the society as it stood at that time, this goes double for you.)
Say one thing bad about gay sex, make one suggestion that gay folks are inherently less moral than we are because of what they did in the 'bad old days', when *YOU* folks were the ones who had the laws, and the beatings, and the contempt and the spit and the hatred, for gay folks, and don't ever expect me to hear you say "the r word" ever again, without scoffing loudly and publically.
You think gays are wrong, and that any gay sex is immoral? Hey, you're allowed. You're wrong, but everyone's allowed to be wrong once in a while. You're even entitled to think *I* am wrong, but don't expect you'll convince me... you'll be much more comfortable just checking this off to one of those things where it's best to 'agree to disagree'.
But you've had more than enough time to recognize that society has an effect on those it attacks.
BTW: If a Mr. Orson Scott Card reads this... thank you for the inspiration you gave me to write this. Feel free to take it personally.