||[Jul. 5th, 2004|02:17 pm]
I need a word.|
I need a word that means some constant, overall struggle that one must bend all of one's resources to winning. I need a word like "war", but with the built in idea that, if it comes down to fighting, to bloodshed, you've already fucked up.
I need a word that says "we can rest, from time to time, and we can intentionally lay the struggle aside, but we know in our hearts that we're just laying it aside for now, and that someday, we're going to have to pick it up again, and carry on."
I need a word for what it is that is going on with the human spirit, where the base level one can expect is struggle, and the recognition that the struggle will never end. I need a word for how despair must be held off with *active* methods, that acknowledges that a lack of caring will weaken us and a lack of work will defeat us.
I need a word that embraces this struggle, this effort, and this heroism that is so amazing in the human spirit, given how badly the odds are stacked against it.
I need a word, one better than "war", one that cries out with the same sense of duty and purpose, and the same desire for victory in the struggle, but without the notion that we must go and hurt, and kill people, and gladly accept unintended "collateral damage".
I need this word to express what it is that I think we must do, what I feel *I* must do, and I've been trying to think of this word.
And I had a hilariously funny thought. I mean, this would, at least, have the potential to be the greatest joke on US society, well, *ever*. And, I doubt that it's true, it would be too perfect, and things are never this perfect in real life, except when they are, if you understand what I mean. This would be like finding out that addictive drugs are only addictive when people are afraid of getting caught and arrested, so that the war on drugs was not only arguably making the social problem worse, but literally making the medical problem worse.
What if the best word to describe that struggle that's been coined yet is "jihad"?
See, "jihad" doesn't refer to "killing westerners", though many people think that's all it means. It refers to a holy struggle, and is frequently used to describe the struggle to control one's self, the struggle one has to do, in order to do what's right, when there is temptation to do wrong.
For truly black humor, imagine if this word has not only confused westerners, but has also been stolen by extremists, who might have bent a noble word to ignoble purposes?
Shrug. I don't have any knowledge of Islam, nor of middle eastern culture, and certainly not of the language of the Qu'ran. I am not suggesting that I have any knowledge of the meaning of the word. All I have in this situation is a profound sense of the ridiculous, and a sense of curiosity while I seek a word that I plan to use to build a larger structure.