|Update on my life
||[Oct. 25th, 2004|07:13 pm]
Well... it's been an interesting few weeks.|
I've been having another one of those "What do I want to be when I grow up?" phases, and I've been realizing that being an IT guy in this situation is *not* what I want to be when I grow up. In fact, I'm not sure I'm too happy about it as a temporary placeholder.
Over the summer, as I was helping my brother, I realized that healing work of some form is part of who I am, and always has been. The difference, of course, is now *I* am close enough to 'well' that I can think more seriously about it, I think. Around the time of ladysprite's wedding, my plans started to solidify.
Right now, I have too many money entanglements to think of just going back to school for counselling; if I were debt free and had some savings, I might consider it, but I'm not debt free, and I might be in more debt as I start cutting my marriage loose. I'd *really* like to give Chris a car as part of a property settlement... her car is old, and in bad shape. Car payments, and possibly help with her COBRA coverage, could require me to keep working in a semi-lucrative profession.
So, I decided to learn Perl, and PHP, and CGI, and other collections of letters, and work on web design skills enough to be able to maintain websites and connected databases. I hope that will give me enough salable skills to keep earning some income if/when I go back to school.
Eventually, I hope to be able to cut loose from the rat race enough to follow my heart a little bit more, be it writing (serious, mystical, fictional, or some combination of all of those), finding out where I can go in the healing arts, or whatever.
And then... well, and then, things get a bit vague. I'm not sure how to start, or where to go once I've started. Blank page syndrome, I suppose.
That, and I've been having some down-feeling days recently, which is probably caused by the cloudiness and shorter days.
But, in the meantime, I have some Perl, PHP, and CGI books that I'm starting to read through and I'm feeling relatively good about that. Even if this isn't one of the tools that will help me pursue my dream, it's good to be working on something, rather than just spinning my wheels.