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Thought about depression/life/etc. [Jul. 19th, 2007|12:57 pm]
It's not "normal" to wake up feeling good, in the sense that, if nothing is *bad*, you're feeling *good*. It takes work.

Sometimes that work is natural, and easy, to the point that it doesn't seem like work. Some people have it easier than others. They're lucky, not normal.

What I mean by this is, if you have to work harder than you think others have to work, just to be neutral, let alone happy, it doesn't mean you're broken, that you're a bad person, a lazy person, a person who isn't doing what all people should do. It doesn't mean you're a failure, it doesn't mean that you're a loser. It means you're facing a challenge, a unique challenge, one that no one else has ever faced, and one that no one will ever face again.

You might read this and feel the way I do, sometimes. You might feel a bit of despair. "You mean I'm not going to work hard for a while, and then *bam*, I'll be happy almost every day without working hard at it?"

Probably not. But if you learn your own unique challenges and how to handle them, you can find the best way to work towards your happiness, and make it easier.

Maybe it'll never be easy... but it won't be quite so hard, because at least you'll have some information about how to work at it more efficiently. If you're lucky, you might be able to build a set of habits that will keep you on an even keel, almost all the time, without consciously having to expend much effort. Or you might not be able to. It sucks, but that's how life is, sometimes.

From: tigermorph
2007-07-19 08:37 pm (UTC)
Have some spoons, Love.

And a hug if you want it.
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[User Picture]From: lolleeroberts
2007-07-19 09:00 pm (UTC)
Can we just toss the word "normal" out the window? It seems to cause more grief than any other ten words with commensurate illusions of neutrality.

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[User Picture]From: karenkay
2007-07-19 09:19 pm (UTC)
Have you read "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn? He addresses some of the same issues. (Especially the building of habits that will keep you on an even keel.)

I do think that this is an absolutely wise post. And FYI, about your statement "if you have to work harder than you think others have to work, just to be neutral, let alone happy...", I will only say that no one really knows how hard anyone else works at being happy. Not all work is conscious or short-term, for example.
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[User Picture]From: siliconivy
2007-07-20 08:20 pm (UTC)
thanks for posting this. i've been in quite a mental funk for weeks now, it's the worse it's been in a while. i sometimes wonder if it will ever get better ... it is good to know others have similar challenges.
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From: kightp
2007-07-21 03:39 pm (UTC)
*nod* Even when it looks easy to outside observers, that may just mean the work has been going on for so long that it's thoroughly internalized to the point where it doesn't show. But it's still work.

And you know, there's nothing wrong with work. It's how we build things.
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