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John

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Possessiveness [Aug. 20th, 2008|09:59 pm]
John
I reckon it's part of being human to have bouts of irrational possessiveness. You know, "what are you doing, driving on *my* street when *I* want to make a left turn?" or "how dare you pour the last cup of coffee from the community coffee pot, when it was rightfully mine because I wanted it!"

Today, though...

See, there's a pool in the apartment complex, and really, as with all such pools, it's for families to play in. I remind myself of this as a ward against grumpiness. It's more like, I should make sure that I don't bother the kids who are playing in the pool when I'm the intruder trying to use it for something else.

But as I was swimming tonight, I saw two kids jump in to the pool. I was annoyed; this was supposed to be a "I get the whole pool to myself!" night. Okay, but the pool is for kids right?

But what kind of friggin' moron would go swimming when it's in the high 60s?

Oh... yeah.

Actually, they didn't last long... in fact, I'm wondering if they thought "Hey, that long haired weirdo is in the pool, it must be warm enough for swimming!" I guess no one told them I'm part polar bear :-).
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: laurarey
2008-08-21 06:28 am (UTC)
Heh. I totally understand. That kind of possessiveness shows up at times and makes me think quite irrational thoughts. I generally chalk it up to feeling stressed and wanting something that is comforting....and why can't everyone else just let me have this one thing, damnit. It's not that I ask for a lot. For me, it can then devolve into a rant about stupid, selfish, inconsiderate....blah, blah, blah. :)

I hate possessiveness. It's one of my worse character traits. I've always admired people who could live harmoniously in poly relationships. I can't. Hell, I get annoyed that David maintains any contact at all with his ex lovers, which I can assure you has been the cause of more than one fight.

Sorry, I got derailed. Your posting just hit such a note for me. You swim when temps are in the high 60s? You are indeed part polar bear. :)
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[User Picture]From: johnpalmer
2008-08-21 08:00 pm (UTC)
Nod. I think it's often a symptom of me being locked in my own head, and locked in a miserable state of mind. Everything becomes irrationally annoying, and it's all intentional on the parts of other people. They're making that annoying coughing noise because they *know* I hate it, etc., or waiting until *I* want to swim to use *MY* pool, or whatever :-).

(And for me, it helps to recognize it as a normal, human emotion... it's only stupid, selfish, and inconsiderate if I start scheming to drive them out of the pool. Until I do that, I'm just feeling an unpleasant feeling that's hurting no one but me. Oh, and note that I didn't say that this eliminates the self-directed rants, just that it helps :-).)
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[User Picture]From: jhetley
2008-08-21 12:40 pm (UTC)
But that _is_ my road . . .
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[User Picture]From: johnpalmer
2008-08-21 08:00 pm (UTC)
Nod. Especially, I imagine, when you're on a bicycle :-).
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[User Picture]From: firecat
2008-08-21 07:33 pm (UTC)
Is it really "possessiveness" or is it just feeling "I don't want to deal with the inconvenience right now"? Seems like possessiveness would last beyond actually being in the pool/on that street.

I don't like kids in the pool when I'm lap swimming. Not because I think the pool is mine, but because I think the pool should be shared, and kids almost invariably get in my way even though I'm moving in a very predictable pattern.
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[User Picture]From: johnpalmer
2008-08-21 09:10 pm (UTC)
Well, you could call it inconvenience avoidance. But with me, I end up feeling a tug that just seems to fit "no, I want the pool, so now it's mine and you can't have it! You can have it any other time, but not right now!" If I didn't include that "It's mine!" feeling in the description, it feels like something is missing.

And yeah, I know what you mean about kids getting in the way. It's one of the reasons I've taken to only using the snorkel unless I'm sure the pool will be kid-free. (Since I don't have to keep moving my head in and out of the water, I always have a clear view of what's going on, at least in front of me.)
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[User Picture]From: wolfette
2008-08-21 10:40 pm (UTC)

But what kind of friggin' moron would go swimming when it's in the high 60s?


If we waited till it was warmer than that in scotland, we'd never go swimming.

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[User Picture]From: johnpalmer
2008-08-21 11:18 pm (UTC)
Hah! Good point, I hadn't thought about that; I reckon there have to be plenty of folks adapted to cool weather swimming.

In any event, I think the pool is (mildly) heated. While I was swimming past the jets yesterday, I noticed the water coming out of them was definitely warmer than the surrounding water. It's never warm, but it's also never been all *that* cold, either.
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