|Nothing more than a walk this weekend...
||[Mar. 17th, 2014|02:03 pm]
...and, I'm feeling... like I'm catching a cold. |
universe? Do you have *any* idea how hard this is?
(No, you don't but that's because you simply don't care, as is the nature of universes. This is why it's so *boring* to have a conversation with a universe; that sense of apathy about so many things. Do you know the universe just doesn't care who won the Super Bowl?)
More seriously, I'm feeling better than I usually do. I had a revelation on Friday. I was calling it a "good day", with just a brief time during the afternoon where I wished I could hit an espresso stand for a quad latte.
Wait a minute, I said to myself. Maybe normal folks don't have a *good* day where they feel they *need* a quad latte to function.
That's helped me tone down exercise. I declared the 20-25 minutes of walking on my lunch break was my exercise for the day, and took two 30 minute walks over the weekend. And except for the cold, I think I'm doing well.
I've also been learning that there are some truly foul zinc products on the market. I'm reminded of marketing "news" published when Cold-Eeze or Zicam or whomever came out with zinc lozenges that didn't taste like, well, zinc lozenges. They'd known that zinc would shorten a cold, but people wouldn't take them. I am well aware why they didn't.
(Is there anyone else out there who finds it *infuriating* that they claim these zinc preparations are "homeopathic"? It's bad enough that homeopathy is frequently BS; zinc lozenges aren't homeopathic, because zinc doesn't cause cold symptoms.)
Anyway: I'm keeping on.
Yeesh, another cold?
For the record, as a by-most-standards "normal" person, I often hit a "give me caffiene, STAT!" moment in mid-afternoon, right around what civilized cultures call Siesta Time.
... and zinc lozenges also aren't homeopathic ... because they contain actual zinc.
Darlin', I don't need to compare normal people to myself and be aware that I really don't know how badly you feel in the afternoon.
I need to have faith that if you and I both felt equally badly, we're both very far from the norm, because this world couldn't have been built by people who get *this* fucking tired this frequently. I need to have faith that my will is, in fact, strong and it's my body that's weak.
Because that's really the only thing holding me together right now.
Sorry if that response came out badly... I'm just having a time when I have to believe that I really am a very special snowflake, facing challenges that normal people don't face, and maybe learning how to handle them, or how to heal to avoid them.
My "good" day Friday included time when I was literally struggling to keep myself upright and functioning, where my brain was fogged over, and I knew there was nothing much I could do to help it.
(The "struggle" to keep myself upright wasn't massive - but it was real. There's always some effort in sitting or standing, but most of the time, it's so minor it goes unnoticed.)
I can't believe that it's on a par with your "get coffee - *now*!" urge, or that if it is, it's because you, also, have a serious medical condition. Because if I believe that, then I can't believe I'll ever have an easier time with this struggle.
But I don't want to snap if you mention that, sure, it's normal to have a bit of downtime in the afternoon. It's just an especially sensitive time for me.