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Bad days but maybe hitting a floor - John [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Bad days but maybe hitting a floor [Apr. 16th, 2014|09:51 pm]
So, the bad news is that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were all semi-bad days, but I think I am turning things around by noticing them and increasing my rest. And I got through them. And I did things - I bought shoes, ran outside-the-house chores, picked up my medications, and worked relatively well each of those days.

It's not good, but it's not bad. Small victories are nevertheless victories.

In additional bad news, I'm definitely gaining weight, undoubtedly due in part to having been exercising really heavy a year ago, and learning eating habits from that. Seriously, I was doing thousand-calorie workouts over the course of a day, I had to pump up my food intake. But now I'm not even doing 200 calorie workouts - that's a lot of extra bad eating habits.

I'm trying to go low-carb again, and seeing if it will help. Atkins actually invented his diet for heart patients - it probably won't hurt!

The bad news about fatigue right now is that I'm in that weird middle ground - I'm not so fatigued my emotions are flattened, but I'm not feeling good enough for my native optimism (or is there an extra T in that phrase?) to kick in.

But there are other things. A relationship with a friend is changing, and I'm thinking it's going to end. I mean, not *end*, there are people I haven't seen in forever, but we're not not-friends, we're just not hanging out now. But we're also absent from each other's lives.

And of course, there's always that question: maybe it's for the best. Maybe our time is just past; things change, and that means things end. I don't want that to be true but wants don't define reality.

Ah well. That is life right now. Here's hoping it's treating you better.