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Filk committed... Pt 1 of 3 - John [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Filk committed... Pt 1 of 3 [Jan. 29th, 2017|04:11 pm]
So, I went to Conflikt this weekend, and while I couldn't participate much, I did decide to indulge my poetic, creative side..

After that five minute interlude, I decided to try to write some filk.

A filker mentioned there weren't enough Discworld filks, and there wasn't a "never set the cat on fire" song. I decided I'd try to start one, though others with deeper knowledge of the whole series could do better.. still:

TTTO Never Set The Cat On Fire
Never cross Gran Weatherwax
It's sure to bring you trouble
The elder witch is wise and skilled
And sure to leave you humbled.
And even if you're awful grim
Don't ask 'bout hedgehog buggrin'
No never cross Gran Weatherwax

And mind your manners in accordance with the facts
and never cross Gran Weatherwax.

Don't ever start a barroom brawl
when the city guard's aroundya
they're on a competency swing
and the troll might kinda poundya
And even if your life is hard
don't duel the over-tall dwarf guard
No never start a barroom brawl

And mind your manners in accordance with the facts
And never cross Gran Weatherwax.

Don't overbuild the pyramids
they'll warp time space continuum
The damage warping does to books
means the author can't continue 'em.
It will disrupt the graves of pharohs
So their kids would shoot you full of arrows,
no don't overbuild the pyramids.

And mind your manners, in accordance with the facts
And never cross Gran Weatherwax.

Don't bottle feed a baby dragon
It fills me with forboding
Just in case you knew it not
dragons often are exploding!
They breathe out deadly fire, friend,
or jet wash from the other end...
so don't bottle feed a baby dragon.

And mind your manners....

(Edited to fix a homophone misspelling)

(Note: in the books, it was an actual jet exhaust... but I couldn't get that to scan.)

[User Picture]From: acelightning
2017-01-30 06:05 am (UTC)
Cute! :-D
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[User Picture]From: johnpalmer
2017-02-01 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm still working on "don't insult the UU librarian, even though he is a monkey" but I can't figure out where the "ook" should go, the song ends, and
"I'm sorry for the interruption. For those of you who aren't well versed in Orangutan, that was "just be assured that if you do, he'll try to yank your spine in two..." now, if you'll all give us space, we have a chiropractic emergency to deal with."
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[User Picture]From: acelightning
2017-02-02 12:28 pm (UTC)
Considering that I've read maybe one-and-a-half Discworld books, I'm surprised at myself for understanding that :-)
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