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Minor update... [Apr. 6th, 2005|05:23 pm]

Well, a week ago last Monday, Chris finally left the apartment for Cleveland. After some minor mishaps on the road, she made it home safely. (I *told* her to have the water pump replaced when changing the timing belt on a 1992 Ford Escort, for fear that a siezing water pump would strip the timing belt... ah well. Good news is, replacing the water pump and timing belt at a dealership in Wisconsin cost less than replacing just the timing belt and doing some other maintenance work at the mechanic in Kent.)

So, I'm living alone for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long... but more than a dozen years. All jokes about leaving the toilet seat up or down, however I prefer, aside, it's a strange feeling.

To add to my stress, after leaving my work in January, I was supposed to be allowed to continue my medical insurance under COBRA. February 1 was when COBRA kicked in. Well, I'm now signed up for the *wrong* medical plan. Somehow, the COBRA person decided that I was on the "buy up" plan, not the regular.

Some of you may know I'm on meds for maintenance of ADHD. Well, I can't afford them without insurance. The cheap one is over $100 a month. Now, there's one thing worse than being afraid to take my meds, for fear I'll run out before I can get a new supply... and that's running out, and not being able to get any, period.

If I don't take my adderall, but I still have some ("in case things get really bad"), well, that's unpleasant, but if I *can't* take my adderall, that's *bad*. So, I'm mostly going medless. For the past three weeks, that wasn't too bad. Why? Well, for the past three weeks, I've been sick. I got some really heavy duty infection in my sinuses that migrated back and forth from there to my lungs and back, and it took a full three weeks for me to start feeling 'right' again. Why didn't I go to the doctor? Well, two reasons. First, this was a sneaky thing... each day, I felt "wow, that was worse than I thought! If I'd known it was this bad, I'd have gone to the doctor a day or two ago." It always seemed like the worst was mostly over. Second... I don't have any useful health insurance! Sure, I'm paying for it... but who the heck knows if anything will ever get straightened out?

So, I felt like crap, but, I had a reason to feel like crap. If I was tired when trying to concentrate no something, hey, no problem, I was sick.

Now that I'm mostly healthy again, I'm remembering *why* I'm on meds for ADHD.

Oh, did I mention that my job doesn't give me sick time? I'm a contractor, paid hourly. So, having to miss work was a major financial burden.

However, I have some beloved folks who had money to help out, so Chris got off okay, and rent and insurance premiums got paid.

Other fun stuff:

I came home on Tuesday to find a "vacancy" sign inside my mailbox. Apparently, someone thought that Chris's change of address was a family move, not an individual. I filled out the form, and noted "my wife and I have separated!!" (I figured people would understand what had happened, and why, from that), and the next few days I got mail. Yesterday, the first day I could receive an important piece of mail (read as: the rollover check for my 401(k), over $13,000), it appears that my mailbox lock has changed.

(Mailbox key doesn't work, lock looks strangely new and shiny - I don't *think* it looked that new and shiny a week ago, but would I have noticed if it had?).

The number of phone calls I'm having to make to try to have some semblance of a normal life at a very stressful time of my life is starting to irk me. I guess it's good that my writing has kept me in a semi-mellow mood.

See, you probably remember the book I wrote from November through January. The thesis of the book is "Some Republican supporters have declared an ideological war on people who oppose them. They are using successful tactics, which encourage others to use the same tactics. This has built up until we have a wall of hatred built between our friends and neighbors and it's long past time to start tearing it down... even if you disagree with my beliefs about who started the war."

After writing about how important it is to be calm, and remember the essential goodness of our fellow humans, it's hard to start yelling at people on the phone without feeling like a hypocrite. Plus, yelling at customer service people is usually not very productive.

Still, my patience is worn out, and it's not like my medless state is a good one for remaining calm. Right beneath the surface is the raging scream of "To *you*, this is a bothersome customer service problem, to *ME*, it's part of my life that I need put back in order you (multiple expletives deleted)"

Oh well... time for me to head home, and see if my mailbox problems are fixed (if my lock was changed how will they get the new keys to me? I'm sure the obvious joke has occurred to everyone by now....)

(What's even funnier is that they have a set of package delivery boxes they use. "No, no, no, we didn't put your keys in your MAILBOX! We're not stupid! We put them in the package delivery box, so that you could unlock them with the key that we... leave in your mailbox. Ooops.")

[User Picture]From: teddywolf
2005-04-07 01:23 am (UTC)
Whurf! Rough stuff there. I hope the insurance mess (among and including other messes) gets cleared up quickly.
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From: kightp
2005-04-07 01:43 am (UTC)
Ack. The mailbox mess sounds like one of those straws. Thank the god and goddess that you aren't a camel, darlin'.

Not to be, er, judgmental or anything, but your apartment managers keep proving that they're a bunch of dumbfucks. Not the best incentive to keep you from finding better digs, is it?
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From: iamjw
2005-04-07 02:05 am (UTC)
I know how it is to stretch out meds, or try to go without for a while. I hope you can get that worked out soonest.

As for the rest...sending many *hugs* is probably the best I can do from here.

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[User Picture]From: juliansinger
2005-04-07 02:56 am (UTC)
Can I ask a dumb question?

Is Ritalin just as effective for you?

(I ask mostly because I have Really Sucky insurance, which pays for like $20 of a prescription, so I have to pay attention to costs, and Ritalin costs /dramatically/ less than Adderall. (Like $20, versus $150.) I know Adderall lasts longer, but I don't know if it affects you in different ways than Ritalin does, is all.)
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[User Picture]From: johnpalmer
2005-04-07 03:54 am (UTC)
Ritalin has a bad crash for me. I actually do have some; I occasionally ask my doctor for an emergency supply of generic Ritalin when I've forgotten to get a new prescription until I'm running out... and I'm a bit of a med-hoarder, always keeping just a little bit of extra, because I'm always nervous about forgetting to get my prescription refilled, or, well, ending up without insurance, for example.

But, I might just take my last prescription to my doctor's office (to show that I haven't filled it) and ask for a 30 day supply of Ritalin. If I can remember to keep taking it throughout the day, it *does* help. It's the forgetting it, until I've crashed, that's a problem.

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[User Picture]From: juliansinger
2005-04-07 07:49 am (UTC)
Hm, check.

(I've been cruising along just fine on Adderall, but I finally gave into my own "but it costs so much LESS" blandishments. I'll have to pay attention to the crashage issue. So, thank you!)
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[User Picture]From: juliansinger
2005-04-07 07:58 am (UTC)
...And I'm glad the question did some good, even if Ritalin isn't /as/ effective. (And I know from forgetting. Grah.)
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[User Picture]From: eleccham
2005-04-12 04:44 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, that's not even something I can help with, as I'm taking Strattera.
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From: kshandra
2005-04-07 04:37 am (UTC)
My sympathies, and profound empathy: I've been off my antidepressants for about a week and a half for much the same reason. (I can afford the Prozac without insurance, the Wellbutrin is rough, but doable; but without a guaranteed income, I don't dare spend the money on either of them.) I'm considering writing to my doctor (since I can't afford an office visit) and asking her to double my Prozac scrip instead of staying on the pair of them. I don't know that it'll be a complete success, but as you say about the Ritalin, it's at least better than not having anything.
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[User Picture]From: rickvs
2005-04-07 10:41 am (UTC)
Pardon the silly question that I'm sure you've already addressed, but is there a chance that your COBRA could be switched back to the correct format? I seem to recall big legal brick walls about not being able to change coverage when going on COBRA, so it seems the sort of thing it would behoove them to fix pronto.
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[User Picture]From: blackthornglade
2005-04-07 06:16 pm (UTC)
*gah* *hugs* You'll get used to the living alone thing. It just takes time. Once I adjusted to it, I found I liked it a lot.

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